As you might have noticed from previous posts, I love walking and I try to do that every day. Bonus point if the walk involves being in nature, extra bonus point if there are death leaves you can walk on/play with. At the moment, my “usual” is walking on the side of the road from my place. On paper, side of the road is not perfect, but there is little traffic and it has a stunning view on the Pyrenees all of the way. I can see woods on the right and left of the way, there are sheep in the fields and eagles flying around, it is quite the thing.

While I was walking there a few days ago, a car slowly came to me and pulled over. I was expecting someone to ask for directions, but the lady kindly asked “Can I drive you somewhere?”. I stayed stunned for a second, mentally reviewing what could have brought such an idea-my hoodie/sweat pants/runners outfit, my lack of handbag, the smile on my face from the bliss? I gave her a broad smile and finally answered, “Hum, no thanks, I am like…walking on purpose, like, for my own pleasure”. She gave me a nod and left, but her intervention left me puzzled.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe this lady was being genuine and truly wanted to help, but by doing so she gave me the perfect illustration of what happens when you try to do things differently: people think they have a duty to remind you what the RIGHT way is. Like the road is for driving-don’t mind the scenery. Over the years, I come to the conclusion that this is the hardest part in change and growth.

Like, here you are, wanting something deeply. You know what you don’t want anymore, you know what you want instead and you are working on your goal, meticulously. Every now and then, someone drops a comment, a “why?” or a flat-out judgement. But that’s ok, you stand your ground, you find reasons for people’s behaviour, you keep pushing. Until you feel a certain anger growing, a rage almost and you feel like screaming “Why the hell people don’t mind their own business and let me do my own thing?”. That, my friend, is a legit question.

The answer is: by wanting to change and actually doing it, you show people that another alternative is possible and, for some, it is unbearable, heresy almost. What if everyone was doing like you? Changing of job/relationship status/asking questions? Wouldn’t the world stop going round? What does that leave the society of boxes and norms with? And mainly, what does that say about the people who don’t change? Hence, the people in your environment have 2 choices: believe that change is possible for them too (scary and unsettling perspective) OR try to get you back where you used to belong to (and here comes the comments).

If you are right in the middle of this, you have my full support and love. Just know that you are not alone and that other “crazy people” are living the same thing right now- and no, there is nothing wrong with you. Don’t mind the haters, the rewards you are already getting from sticking a foot outside of the line are already there: reap the benefits of your first victories and take time to congratulate yourself for your hard work. Learn from your experience, laugh from your mistakes, and fully embrace that life is only about that in the end.

For the others, people who are considering things in a different way, don’t need to be fixed- I don’t need to be fixed. If you feel an irrepressible need to tell someone how to live their lives, ask yourself: what do you expect from your comment? What bothers you so much in there that you need to intervene? Either way, I leave you with this quote from the great Coco Chanel “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all”.